February, 2007  

My Iron Butt     
By “Crazy” Eddie Kelley

Actually my butt is quite soft since I have a really comfortable Mustang brand seat on my 1989 FLHS. And it’s a good thing too as I spent a lot of time in the saddle this past year.

My quest for the Iron Butt Trophy began in January when after riding almost 12,000 miles in 2005 I found myself a distant 3rd place, over 3,000 miles behind the winner. I thought, this year I’m just going to have to ride a bunch more.

Thankfully this past year’s winter was very mild and I was able to ride in January, February & March thus getting a head start on those that put their bikes away for the winter. As the summer wore on, I was keeping track of my nearest competitor’s mileage. There was one guy, Dan Clark that was riding to Pennsylvania or South Carolina almost every weekend and he was always ahead of me. Then there was Chuck Tolley who was running neck & neck with me. I new Chuck was going to be a challenge as he came in 2nd last year. It got to the point where Dan was getting so far ahead that I did not think I could catch him.

As the fall came upon us, I saw Dan at a Sunday ride and he told me he was over 16,000 miles, I thought “I’m screwed, I’ll never be able to catch him at this rate.” (Little did I know then that Dan was exaggerating his mileage) and of course Chuck was still on my butt. Even Katherine McHenry was giving us a run.

It was getting harder to put miles on as the fall wore on as my bike started to break down, spending too much time in the repair shop. Good riding weather was slowly going away. Then at the Toy Run breakfast at Sweet Lemons Chuck told me that Dan Clark’s bike was down for the count and that his own bike was toast. I thought, I now have a chance. But then Chuck said he would be riding his wife’s bike the rest of the year. (Oh Sh!t).

I was still having clutch problems on my bike and was lucky to even be there that day. After telling Chuck about my clutch and that I may be done myself he said “OK I’ll win it this year and you can win it next.” That being said, I thought, there is NO WAY I’m going to ride this much again next year. I was about 500 miles behind Chuck with a month to go. I brought the bike to the shop and told my mechanic to adjust it enough so I could at least finish this year off. Thankfully the weather cooperated and I was able to put another 2,000+ miles on. Now, all I could do was wait until January to see if I had enough. I DID thank God, and I promise I won’t do it again.

Special thanks to Hawk Hickman for the great job he did running the Iron Butt contest and for the awesome trophy he selected. It looks great on my mantel.

Final 2002 Iron Butt Report                                      by Hawk Hickman

The 2006 Iron Butt was a huge success! We had 26 original entries with 22 riders amassing mileage and reporting it (a few dropped out due to various reasons). Of the 26 entrants, there were 19 men and 7 women.

Crazy-Man, Sir Ed Kelley was the men's division winner, as he took out his whip down the stretch pushing his iron horse past the leader for most of the year, Dan Clark (Dog-Man). However, in order to do that, he also had to fend off Chuck Tolley, who was also galloping his steed down the stretch.

All three riders experienced break-downs with their mounts over the final furlong. Dan's was actually pulled out of the race and had to be put down towards the end of the summer after leading all year up to that point. Eddie and Chuck both had their mounts pull up lame, but were able to limp home.

We were going to present the awards during the February meeting, but were informed by Eddie that he wouldn't be able to make that meeting. At that point, we knew he was the men's winner, so we had to get the trophy engraved and present it to him at the January meeting. We also presented the women's division trophy as well and fortunately Katherine McHenry was present at the meeting to receive her trophy. Eddie and Katherine each received a check for $130, splitting the prize money evenly. We have also decided to award a "take-home" trophy each year to the two winners, as well as having their names engraved on the perpetual plaque.

We will mention the 2nd and 3rd place finishers in each division and have a special surprise award at the February meeting.

Some people did not give us any reports for the last few months, so we are going to go with their last reported mileage. Thanks to all for their participation. Sign-ups for the 2007 race will begin at the February meeting.

Rev your engines and get your mounts ready for 2007! We have a feeling that the winners will be tired this year, and other members will have a good chance.

Be a part of Manomet Mystery Rider history and be an Iron Butt with your name emblazoned on our plaque. Hawk H. Hickman, Your Iron Butt Organizer

Not Just A Contest, A Way of Life!                      By Katherine McHenry
The season began as they always do for me, watching the daily weather forecast and the salt & ice slowly beginning to clear from the roadways…Waiting for the first day when it seems possible, in fact almost sane, to go for the first spring ride. Once I was out, it seems like the rides all blended together. From the early weeks, feeling the bite of the cold wind on my face gradually changing to a soft warm breeze filled with the scent of mountain pines & ferns in the hot sun. And finally, the bite of winter reminding me that the year’s riding was coming to a close.

Yes, over the past season I thought about the contest often, but I suspect my mileage would have been close to what it was even if there had been no contest. Why? The love of the ride. If you’re reading this you probably know what I mean. Since I was a kid I’ve enjoyed a good adrenaline rush. I learned to ride in Vermont and the twisty roads that wind through the Green Mountains are still my favorites. There’s something about approaching a familiar turn, sitting deep into my seat, opening the throttle and feeling the tingle of foot peg meeting pavement. Yes, it’s a little crazy, but you know w hat I’m talking about.

My passion also extends to the ironic peace that comes from riding. To me it’s a little slice of heaven. After crossing a twisty mountain road, I might descend into a valley with long straight-aways where the smell of fresh cut hay and golden sunlight fill my senses. A deep breath riding here brings me a peace and a sense of freedom that I can’t find anywhere else.

As for the season’s highlights, there really were no standout trips. They were all amazing and the pieces seem to blend together as I think back… stopping for a cool swim in a river on a hot day in Vermont, long winding curves of the West Virginia mountains, the cold night air of the Pennsylvania highway and the warm s un in the northeastern mountains of Maine.

Thinking back on the season, I realize that the iron butt contest wasn’t my motivation, but rather my excuse to ride like hell

Paulatics                                                                 By Paula McCallum
 Lordy Lordy, Look Who’s Forty!
Several years ago, my family celebrated my Nana’s 90th birthday with her in the nursing home. I remember my mother asking her if she knew how old she was. My grandmother, asked, “70?” My mother said, “no Ma, you’re 90!” “Noooo” my Nana responded with her thick Italian accent, can’t be?” She just couldn’t fathom being that old. Well, my sweet little Nana, I know how you feel, being on the cusp of dotage myself. On Valentine’s Day, February 14, I hit the big 4-0 with a loud smack.

One minute I’m this young hip chick, or so I think, and the next, I’m an old hag dying my gray hair and planning for a fast approaching retirement. While still fancying myself a blossoming woman in the prime of her life, somehow I seem to have been trapped in this wilting flower of a body. Wrinkles, who has wrinkles? Hell, I’m still getting acne. Now, if that isn’t a kick in the p ants, I don’t know what is?

Aside from diminishing eye sight and the pain in my shoulders that now comes from sleeping too long on one side, I’m in relatively good health. With age, comes wisdom, confidence and financial security that I didn’t have 20 years ago. Hey, who am I trying to convince here anyway? I’m starting to sound like a cheesy ad for term life insurance.

Turning 40 isn’t as horrific as I’m making it sound. I’m actually looking forward to what ever fleeting life is still left ahead of me. I’ll know when I’ve finally hit the wall when the words, “Music? You call that music? that isn’t music, that’s just noise!” or “Sonny, those pipes are too loud” comes out of my mouth. When that day arrives, I promise to ride my quiet trike to an assisted living program and check myself in.

Riding a bike keeps me feeling young. It’s this mid-life crisis that puts a thrill into an otherwise mundane existence. Who’d a thunk that at 40, ’lil old me would be the leader of a motorcycle group and their first woman President? So the beginning of this era will present exciting challenges and should keep what ever is left of my aging synapses, firing. 40? Who’s 40? “Nooo, can’t be…” is still ringing in my ears.

The Other Woman                                                           by Teresa Lally

It started innocently enough. My husband said he was going to look f or another woman.

Not to replace me. Just to spend time with when I wasn’t around; maybe a few Sunday afternoons. He assured me it wouldn’t happen too quickly - he had high expectations and there were certain requirements that had to be fulfilled, parameters and guidelines she would have to fall into before he would bring her home.

Lo and behold, it didn’t take much time at all, and suddenly there she was, sitting in our garage like she owned it. He and his friends standing around her oohing and aahing. It wasn’t so bad at first. Older than me, she was showing her age, a bit road weary. A bit undependable, even (much to his embarrassment) breaking down at times, causing some anguish and bouts of swearing and anger. Still, she had a hold over him.

He had always envisioned making her better. Refining and shaping her into what he had dreamed she could be. This too came about more quickly than expected. It was if she wove a spell around him, possessing him, until all his thoughts were about her and what he could do, what he could buy for her. Many a time I would go looking throughout the house for him, only to find he was sitting in the garage just staring at her. He said he was thinking about what he was going to do with her. Hours later, he would still be there in the same position. I was told that it would take a lot of thinking.

It also took a lot of time. Time on the computer, searching for obscure things she just had to have. Hours and hours molding her into what he wanted. Hours and hours rebuilding her from the ground up. Dinners sat cooling on the table while he finished ‘just one more thing’ with her. Many times he would have to bring her, or parts of her, to other places for various things. I knew when this happened I would not see him the rest of the day or night because invariably this would lead to ‘having a couple of beers’ while they ogled her and discussed what he had done and had yet to do with her.

And, of course, it took a lot of money. The rebuilding and reshaping was only the beginning. She needed new pieces and parts. New, better, brighter, shinier parts. Pieces custom made just for her. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars just to add an inch here and there. Then she needed to be adorned in finery that was worthy of her. New colors to show off her new sleek lines. Bedecked and bejeweled in shiny baubles to accent her good looks. Just enough to add class, stopping short of appearing too garishly made up.